An inconvenient Rabbit

January 25th, 2007

The Jackalope

jackalope.JPG.jpgThe jackalope is an antlered species of rabbit, unfortunately rumored to be extinct, though occasional sightings of this rare creature continue to occur, suggesting that pockets of jackalope populations continue to persist in its native home, the American West.

The jackalope is an aggressive species, willing to use its antlers to fight. Thus, it is also sometimes called the “warrior rabbit.”

Jackalopes possess an uncanny ability to mimic human sounds. In the old West, when cowboys would gather by their campfires to sing at night, jackalopes would frequently be heard singing back, mimicking the voices of the cowboys. Jackalopes become especially vocal before thunderstorms, perhaps because they mate only when lightning flashes (or so it is theorized).

When chased, the jackalope will use its vocal abilities to elude capture. For instance, when chased by people it will call out phrases such as, “There he goes, over there,” in order to throw pursuers off its track. The best way to catch a jackalope is to lure it with whiskey, as they have a particular fondness for this drink. Once intoxicated, the animal becomes slower and easier to hunt.

Jackalope milk is particularly sought after because it is believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac (for which reason, the jackalope is also sometimes referred to as the ‘horny rabbit’). However, it can be incredibly dangerous to milk a jackalope, and any attempt to do so is not advised. A peculiar feature of the milk is that it comes from the animal already homogenized on account of the creature’s powerful leaps.

The jackalope is now most commonly sighted in the states of Colorado, Wyoming, and Idaho. However, the jackalope does appear to have a European cousin, which in Germany is known as the wolperdinger. In Sweden, a related species is called the skvader.

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14 Responses to “An inconvenient Rabbit”

  1. Lucy Says:

    I am so relieved! I thought the jackalope population had been totally diminished by the hoop snakes….

  2. Don O Says:

    Silly Wabbit! “There he goes, over there.” Never play leapfrog with a “There he goes, over there” jackalope! Remember Monty Python!!!! They didn’t heed the “There he goes, over there”. Neh! Neh!

  3. Lee Says:

    They taste like chicken…….

  4. Chris Says:

    i did not know the jackalope could talk!!!???!!! and on top of that i thought they wer mythilogical creechers. this article is awesome.

  5. ham Says:

    hi, the jackalope cannot be real. the antlers look completely fake. no WAY that it is real!!!

  6. ham Says:

    i just saw a jackalope outside! kidding! LOL!

  7. Noah Says:

    this article was copy pasted

  8. Paul Sandler Says:

    They’re horny creatures…that’s where the sayin’ “fuck like a rabbit” originated from. The jackalope is also very smart ’cause once I heard a man’s voice in the background while I was talking to my wife on the phone and she said that a jackalope must have climbed through the window and was in the bedroom with her. Lucky for me it didn’t hurt her but she must have fell while running from it ’cause her knees had rug burns on them and boy, was she tired that night. I got to get me some better locks on them windows ’cause this is about the seventh time this week this has happened and I’m getting pretty pissed at that little critter for making me not get any with my lady. Just be carefull fellows.

  9. annonimous Says:

    this is fuken stupid they dont exist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Lindsey Tizzard Says:

    My dad and my brother were fighting because my brother said that jackalopes are real and my dad said they were not even know my dad saw a picture of one he still dose not belive in them of course i belive in them they look so cute i want one as a pet so bad but my dad will not let me have one they are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo CUTE

  11. bitch Says:

    they fuckin do not exizest

  12. gerard Says:

    these creatures do exist, I got back from germany and I saw a wolperdinger stuffed on the wall in a pub so I checked if it is real and it is!

  13. Cortney Pritchett Says:

    i love jackalopes they are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooocute i have one has a pet they do talk!!!!!1111

  14. Hunter Says:

    I have traveled the world over and I am here to tell you that the Jackalope does exist. In the country of Turkmenistan in Central Asia they are know as Krolik s Rogami (rabbit with antlers)and there they are hunted for their meat and antlers. The antlers are carved into fine jewelry and sold on the black market due to ivory being illegal to sell in most countries. While on a quail hunting trip in West Texas we stumbled on a pair of Jackalopes and it did not take us long to figure out that we were in trouble. Those little bastards are faster than greased lightning and meaner than a junk yard dog. Had it not been for our truck being only a quarter mile away, I may not be here writing this to you. They’re real. They’re dangerous. They’re smart.

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